The glorious days of making friends instantaneously, I am sure we all remember those days. As a child, all we had to do is say hello. See if they want to join us in a game of sorts. Our best childhood friend was a neighbor kid, a classmate or our parent’s best friend’s child. Making friends as a kid surely was much simpler than it is as a grown-up, or so it may seem. Here are Smoky Matchmaker’s Tips To Finding New Friends.
The thing is, as adults we have become more selective in people we want to have a company with. Our interests have narrowed down as we have, for the most part, have figured out the things we like to do the most or activities we enjoy. The time is also not as permissive anymore as we have careers, families and other responsibilities. The biggest obstacle I see is our sophisticated bouquet of feelings and emotions: the fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy and other insecurities.
The research shows us that having friends is beneficial to our health. Studies have linked close friendships to stronger immunity, lower stress levels, improved self-confidence, increased happiness and better overall health. We also know thanks to a clinical review of 150 studies following 300,000 people, that people with strong social ties have a 50% higher chance of survival. Just to be clear, these are real friends you see in person, not social media friends.
Sometimes we get so carried away with our daily routines and responsibilities that we feel that there is no time for friends. And so we just let our friendships dwindle down slowly but surely. Most of the time we grow apart from our old friends due to work, careers, moving away and even starting a family. Making new friends takes time, which is hard to come by these days. Some of us are not even sure where to even begin to find those new friends. Fortunately, you are not alone and there are tips you can use now and be on your way to wonderful new friendships.
Be open-minded
Think back to when you were a kid, you probably didn’t give it too much thought and consideration when you were making new friends, you just wanted a buddy to hang out with. So, go back to that mindset, be open to new people and all they may bring along with their unique personality. Do yourself a favor and try not overthinking the process, just let it take a natural coarse. You are an adult who’s had many different experiences in life, you are enough and you deserve to have great friends. Stay positive and believe in your successes of making new friends, the right mindset is everything. Open-minded also means giving the opposite gender a chance.Platonic male-female friendships not only possible but are actually very beneficial, especially for men. Just be open and inviting and see where it goes.
Make a “possible friend” list
Think of all the people you met a little while ago, some people from work or even your social media friends, maybe someone from a networking event or work conference. Now create a list of people you liked and perhaps would like to get to know better. Once you have your list ready extend a coffee or an after-work happy hour invitation. Keep in mind that making friends takes some time and effort, someone has to initiate the first contact. Remember to keep open-minded and inviting at your first meeting, and see where it goes.
Say Yes
When someone is extending an invitation to you for a friendly get together… you accept. Sure, you might be tired and you had some frozen meal to prepare or your cat is waiting for you at home, or you are busy and over-scheduled. But if someone is making an effort to spend time with you, try to make it happen. That person might be looking for a friend just like you are. Or they simply like you and would like to get to know you better. Give it a chance and you never know, they could be your lifelong close friends. If you can’t afford the chosen meetup spot or you are sick, then that’s ok to decline the invitation. Make sure to get back to them and propose another concrete time to meet. One must simply not let the opportunity to make new friendships pass by them.
Circle it on your calendar
For some of us, if it is not on a calendar then it simply does not exist or at least we don’t really have to do it. Figure out a good time to invite that coworker from your list for happy hour and put it on your calendar to do so. Or someone you met at your kid’s school, put it on a calendar when you have time to reach out. These days, you can even tell your phone to remind you to reach out and schedule a coffee meetup with the lady you met while walking your dog. So, once you have arranged a get-together with a potential new friend, circle it on your calendar and commit to it. It’s paramount to schedule those initial contacts to prevent yourself from putting it off. Never a better time than the present.
Try something new
As you are on your journey to making new friends, it would be beneficial to try something new, go ahead and step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Take a wine glass painting class, karaoke meetups, group dance lessons or discover a new networking group in your area. You never know you might find a new talent you didn’t know you had or simply enjoy a new activity, go ahead, make it an adventure and have fun. Stepping out of your comfort zone could be very exciting and you might just run into someone who is doing the same thing, that could be something to have a good laugh about. The new activities will certainly expand your circle of possible friends or acquaintances.
Put that social media to its intended use
The social media was created to connect people and help them stay in touch, so use that. Look around your social media and find friends that you have lost touch with and would like to reconnect. Perhaps people that you feel have similar interests as you, reach out to them. Invite them to meet up in a real-world to grab some lunch together. See if they have some sort of event planned, find out how you can be a part of that. At the end of the day, everyone desires that real human connection. No one is an exception to that, it’s in our DNA, so go forth and make friends. Stay open-minded and inviting, and good things will come to you.
Maintain the connections
Once you have created a few new connections it is very important to keep them maintained, think of a plant, it’s not enough to just stick it in the ground, you have to water it regularly. Reach out to your new friends often, put some heart into it, ask about their family and work, how their parents are doing or how was their daughter’s ballet recital. Invite them to grab dinner sometime and connect on a deeper level or maybe they need an empty ear to vent about something. A close friend means taking a sincere interest in their life, it is not just all about you at all times, it’s a two-way street. Consistency is key in maintaining the friendship.
Just remember, everything takes time and creating and maintaining a new friendship will also take some time and effort. So, get out there and do it. If you need some help we are here for you, just reach out and ask for guidance from your matchmaker.
Smoky Matchmaker is Here Help
Smoky Matchmaker offers a range of services such as Relationship Coaching Consultation, Conscious Dating Blueprint, In-Field Date Coaching. Singles Mixers, Speed Dating Events and Personalized Matchmaking. If you are ready to get started on finding your life partner, reach out today!
Happy Dating!